Journal #21

January 27th, 2016

I ate 100 percent today. It’s about 4:45 pm and we’re doing our check-out for the day (woohoo for Wednesdays and getting to leave at 5!). I was anxious all morning, because Dr. Rock and Bryan and Diane had agreed, and told me, that if my weight wasn’t up enough by today, my exchanges were going to have to be increased. Again. I’m already at the highest number of exchanges in my group, which is really hard, so I was definitely not looking forward to that, but I’d prepared myself for the worst. Which, I’m glad I did, because sure enough, they got upped. My anxiety today has been lower than the past couple days though, which I’m really thankful for. I’m not sure why that is, but I think part of it is just allowing myself to trust the process and the doctor, and not trying to control everything myself. I don’t really feel that “calmness” that I felt a few hours ago at the moment, but at least I had a nice temporary moment of relief. I was yet again put on gatorade today, but I wasn’t expecting anything different. Maybe that’s what helped my anxiety-not expecting any improvements, even though I obviously ache for them. Gosh, I’m just so doggone tired of sitting. I would loooooovee to just go for a nice long walk tonight. A walk! Who would’ve thought I’d have such an incredibly yearning to go for a walk. Tonight, Mama and I are going to Nordstrom to return her glasses that I got her for Christmas, so that should be fun. I’m really just looking forward to getting out…I feel like I have cabin fever! Ok, time to pack up and go home now.

-Bridge

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