Journal #33

February 4th, 2016

My urge to body check is at an all-time high. Some way or another, the stubborn part of me has allowed me to “Just say ‘No'” to the E.D., and refrain from doing it (so far, this morning). Which, of course, is only making the urge stronger. I know, though, that checking is only going to increase my anxiety if I discover that my body has increased in size in any way at all…which, by the way, brain-IS THE GOAL!!! Even though my head can’t seem to wrap itself around that concept. It’s also interesting, because I’m just now realizing that, while there have been moments, or even a day or two, where I haven’t been as tempted to body check, I’ve yet to experience the urge to do it and subsequently NOT engaged in the behavior. So, we’ll see how this goes…



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