February 10th, 2016
Two gatorades UGH. Last night was pretty difficult at and after dinner…since my exchanges had just been increased, things were added to my dinner that I’m not really comfortable eating. I had a teriyaki platter, which was already going to be challenging for me, plus a vanilla soy milk, plus a string cheese, plus a large WHITE bread roll with…TWO PATS of butter. Butter is definitely a fear food of mine, and the already challenging entree, with cheese (another challenge food for me), and WHITE bread (which I stay away from) was pretty darn intimidating. In addition, a therapist who I don’t really click with was running the meal group, and the conversation didn’t seem very encouraging or helpful. I arrived home feeling discouraged and just wanting to lay on the couch with my puppies, which, thankfully, I was able to do! Brad came over for a little while too, which was really nice. This morning we brought our own breakfasts to the program, and I brought a scone from Starbucks, which actually went pretty well-I didn’t have an overwhelming amount of anxiety about it. My lunch today, though, I’m terrified about. I have a challenge meal from the grill I’ve been putting off…the Southwestern Chicken Sandwich. It has lots of things I don’t normally let myself eat… Ciabatta bread, sauce, cheese… I know I can do it, I’m just really not looking forward to it, and not sure why I put all of my challenges on the same day! The scone this morning, lunch today, and for dinner tonight I have pasta and halibut…oh boy. Saying that I’m overwhelmed is a massive understatement. On another note, Dr. Rock’s been getting on me about eating salt, something I’m veeeerrrryy afraid of. I can’t remember the last time I added salt to something-but it turns out my body needs it. And, apparently, it makes some things taste better, too 😛 Anyway, he thinks that increasing my salt intake could potentially help my vitals, so it’s the next thing we’re going to try. He gave me a bunch of salt packets to take home, which Mom thought was funny. We HAVE salt at home, I just don’t use it! Lol. Maybe I’ll add it to my pasta tonight. But first, I’m going to tackle this sandwich.