February 15th, 2016
Well, I’m glad to be in treatment and glad the weekend is over. Yesterday was pretty similar to Saturday-some intense thoughts, and some moments of relief. I’m feeling pretty lousy at the moment (post-lunch) and am hoping my meeting with Dr. Rock this afternoon will bring me some good news. Lunch today wasn’t very good, and I am continuing to feel very bloated, uncomfortably full, and constipated. I’m going to go back on Miralax tomorrow, so hopefully that’ll clear up pretty soon. Currently I’m trying to think of things I can do this evening…because if I just think about the fact that I have dinner (which, at least is the support dinner with friends/family), all I want to do is vomit. I haven’t even started my gatorade yet and it’s been sitting in front of me for two hours. So far, my plans for after dinner are to go get the books, “Decoding Anorexia” and “Goodbye Ed, Hello Me”, both of which I’ve been recommended. I’m hoping they’ll make me feel a little bit better. I also might look at the Christian book section at Barnes & Noble. I really just want to read something that’s going to speak to me and nourish me. Also, I’m going to buy silly putty. I know that sounds silly (pun intended), but it’s really nice to play with during process group. I wish I could hold Rocky right now.