February 19th, 2016
My anxiety’s increased ten-fold since learning that Dr. Rock’s going to be out of town ALL next week on vacation. What if my weight goes up? Will they adjust my exchanges without his consent? What if my vitals get stable? Will they approve me to move to Level C if he’s not here? I just feel so unsettled going into the weekend, knowing my exchanges are still the same as they were when I had to restore weight, and I’m not going to be weighed in for another 48+ hours. The fact that I’m tapering twice next week doesn’t help things, either. Yes, part of me is excited because that means I’m making progress and my team thinks I can handle two additional days off. But a larger part of me is just TERRIFIED realizing that over the next eight days, I’m only in treatment for THREE of them… I’m going out to Tea Chai Te with Kat after group today, and I’m really excited to see and catch up with her. Then, I have the evening at home to myself-including DINNER! I’m actually kind of excited to be alone and have the night to myself to just relax, though. I guess that’s a good sign. Okay, gotta go-time for reflections.