Journal #71

March 11th, 2016

I had a very challenging dinner last night with Mama. She made steak and fried potatoes…which I had alongside bread, and vegetables, of course. Oh boy.

It was really hard, and I really didn’t want to do it, but I did it. And I survived. My focus phrase for today at treatment on the check-in was, “Dinner last night did not cause me to gain weight.” Because it didn’t! Even though I felt like I was about to burst right afterwards.

I had to have a Gatorade this morning, which was frustrating. I’m reminding myself that it’s just one day though, it doesn’t mean anything.

Now sitting down after lunch, I’m feeling incredibly full and uncomfortable. A good friend of mine at treatment just left for the day after having a care conference, and I’m really scared for her. She’s been restricting almost everything the past few days, and there’s talk of her going to the hospital or residential. I’m incredibly sad for her. It also makes me very, very thankful that I am where I am, and I’m able to be looking a little bit on the other side of this illness.

This evening I’m going to a painting class with my God-Mom, which I’m looking forward to as something to get me out of the house that’s NOT treatment related.



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