Something I pride myself in with this blog is being real. And reality isn’t always (or nearly ever) as perfect as I’d like it to be.
I’m not taking away anything I wrote in yesterday’s post, but I feel this update is necessary if I want to really convey the full story. I still feel like I took ten steps forward in my mental recovery while I was away. I did, however, take one backwards in my physical recovery. I had a check-in with Dr. Rock yesterday and learned that I did lose (a significant amount of) weight during my time away. Considering Maddie and I were walking an average of 16 miles a day, it’s not necessarily surprising, but it is frustrating. It’s largely frustrating for me because, since I am committed to my recovery, it means I have to restore that much more weight. I’ve maintained my motivation though, and am still thankful for all of the mental and emotional progress I feel I made in my recovery while on my trip. Since being home, I’ve continued in my progress with my eating, having a bratwurst from a food cart last night at a holiday festival with friends, letting my mom make my breakfast this morning (which was different from what I usually eat), and, yes, I did make and eat that homemade pizza yesterday — and it was great! I’m really trying to utilize this current swing of motivation I have and just get this restoring piece over with. My treatment team has established a certain number that my weight needs to be at by the time winter term starts if I am to return to school without them recommending that I leave to obtain a higher level of care. I’m determined to return to school, so that means over the coming weeks I’ll be eating a lot, and a lot of dense foods, and not doing much of any activity. It’s what I’ve been doing for the past two months, but even more. I know it will be hard, but I’m up for the challenge.